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Don't forget couple time

posted Feb 25, 2013, 3:28 PM by Melissa Baker   [ updated Feb 25, 2013, 3:28 PM by Tascheleia Marangoni ]
Valentine's Day was a couple of weeks ago. Did you do anything special? My husband and I didn't, but we're not the most romantic people on the planet (heh). For us, Valentine's dinner was PC brand frozen pizza (as I said, we're not very romantic).

But romance -- or lack of it -- isn't my point. My point is that it's important to spend time with your spouse/partner/significant other. And by "spend time" I really mean spend some couple time together. You don't have to do anything special (frozen pizza, right? hehe), just as long as you spend the time together.

Why am I talking about this? After all, Valentine's Day was weeks ago. Don't worry, I'm not trying to tell anyone how their relationships should be. But, that being said, it's still important to focus on your relationship. PPD -- well, any postpartum mood disorder, really -- takes a toll on the entire family. It affects you, it affects your spouse/partner, and it affects your children. We all know this, and most of us try to do something about it, because for the most part we feel terrible for it. (I know I did.)

It's probably easier to try to make things up to your children. That's probably why I worked on making things better with my kids first. This might be the case with a lot of mothers, too. I focused on my kids during the day and would go to bed exhausted at night (and I'd go straight to sleep).

Obviously, it doesn't take a genius to see that this cycle of behavior doesn't do much for a relationship.

And that's the point I'm trying to make. When we're able to climb out of the mental pit we were in because of PPD, we're able to start making those changes and start looking at what needs to be fixed. Don't forget your spouse. They stand by you, behind you, beside you, twenty feet away from you (if that's what you want) -- they're there for you. Let's not forget about the person who likely supports us the most -- the person who's rooting for you to get better just as much as you're rooting for yourself.

So make some couple time, even if it's just once or twice a month. We all have to start somewhere, right? Spend some time together, one on one, and talk (not about the kids) and laugh (possibly about the kids, since kids can do some pretty funny things). It doesn't have to be special; sometimes couple time is the time in bed before you go to sleep.

I know this is the year we start thinking about ourselves. But sometimes, focusing on ourselves can mean we need to start looking at nurturing relationships -- and people. No (wo)man is an island, and every person in our lives can make a difference. Let your spouse/partner/significant other keep making a difference in yours.